Crazy Hair

All credit for the following goes to Our Man Neil, and a far more beautifully illustrated version of this poem can be found Here.

This is Bonnie, this is me
I'm eleven, Bonnie's three
She says, I don't mean to stare
Mister, you've got crazy hair

Crazy hair? oh me oh my
Crazy hair, I thought I'd die
I said, miss, how do you dare
Talk about my crazy hair?

This hair you know is all my own
Since I was two my hair has grown
Birds fly down from everywhere
Nesting in my crazy hair

Butterflies and cockatoos
Reds and yellows, greens and blues
Make me look beyond compare
Walking with my crazy hair

In my hair gorillas leap
Tigers stalk and ground-sloths sleep
Prides of lions make their lair
Somewhere, in my crazy hair

Hunters send in expeditions
Radio back their positions
Still we've lost a dozen there
Lost inside my crazy hair

You hear music? Dancers too?
I can hear them, well can you
They play tunes beyond compare
Dancing through my crazy hair

Huge balloons come down to land
People wave, it's very grand
They take off from everywhere
Drift across my crazy hair

There are pools and water slides
Carousels and pony rides
All the fun of any fair
Waits inside my crazy hair

Twisting, tangling, trails and loops
Treasure chests and pirates' loots
These await the ones who dare
Navigate my crazy hair

Here's my comb, young Bonnie said
Run it now across your head
That's what I do with great care
When I have such crazy hair

Child, are you mad?! I cried
Combs and brushes have been tried!
One was eaten by a bear
Prowling through my crazy hair

Bonnie said, you bend down here
I will comb it, is that clear?
I said, miss, just be aware
This is really crazy hair

I bent down and Bonnie swiped
combed and curried, rubbed and wiped
Now, she said, you look-
But there came a rumbling from my hair

One huge growling head peered out
Said, what is this all about?
One huge arm reached out of there
Pulled her in my crazy hair

Bonnie has the finest time
Teaching lions how to rhyme
Riding slides and great balloons
Finding hunters, losing moons

Playing with the pretty birds
Teaching parrots naughty words
Sewing up the pirates' vests
Digging buried treasure chests

Hibernating with the bear
Dancing with the dancers there
Happy as a millionaire
Safe inside my crazy hair

Video of Neil reading Crazy Hair.